firing my mouth off

fresh & blue, originally uploaded by Luís Vieira.

Today I had my final dentist appointment in a series of torture sessions I've been undergoing since I left slumdog developer. Hurray, hurray! Third times a charm for my upper crown! It's been a total traumatic ordeal with this upper crown 'tried on ' three times. At one point last week, the darn temporary flew out of my mouth during my nightly floss session. Great. This was like chewing on tin foil with the slightest sensation - like breathing through my mouth. Not even luke warm water was able to pass by this peg tooth/live nerve. I had no choice but call it a night at 8:40 pm. I took some sleeping 'aid' and went straight to bed, rushing over to Dr Boyd's at 8 AM the next day. I didn't get treatment until 9:30 AM when the doctor could fit me in. But really, this was an emergency. I was totally useless and in major discomfort. At 9:38 AM, the dentist tried the second permanent crown. My freezing was not at work and neither was the stupid crown. The second crown from the lab didn't fit. So again they did another impression and retrofitted the temporary which I brought with me in a glass Bobbi Brown jar - just in case my wonderful Irish luck prevailed. I only wish I had taken an Ativan at 8:30 AM. I left the dentist office with my original temporary tooth, my head and mouth throbbing, took three extra-strength Advil and toddled off to work. What a flippin trooper. I was still sporting my crooked smile due to the freezing. I would continue to take two Advils every four to six hours since last Thursday and my tongue would be utterly obsessed with that corner of my mouth.


So this afternoon as I took my seat, sans-ativan, I announced to the doctor and her assistant that no matter what this third crown was going to do, "Ram it in there and make it work before I have a nervous breakdown - this crown is ruining my life!". Miraculously there was no need for that kind of compromise. She needled me with a fantastic dose of novacaine, popped out the temporary and with ease and little effort, placed my new tooth which by the way, no one will even tell that I have. This didn't stop dear Dr Boyd from holding up her large hand held mirror toward my face and say "See, it's a thing of beauty." I on the other hand, felt like Mickey Rourke, complete with tooth cement still on my chin. Beautiful. Now get me the hell out of this place.