What a difference a year makes

"People more than things, need to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed." - Audrey Hepburn

There were times in cube-de-ville when I was absolutely depleted of energy and inspiration. There was some serious injustices that went on and I never seemed to be able to get to the front of the line. Little by little, my self esteem was pounded out of me. In January I accepted a payout and my get-out-of-jail papers were signed and sealed. Now just driving by the Bentall Towers creeps me out. I avoid Dunsmuir Street for the most part, but having not had to take Employment Insurance by means of taking an on-call clerical position in West Vancouver, I haven't had to drive by or walk by the building where many of my nightmares took place. I often thought I'd never recover from that career black hole. And in the process of working in a new environment, I saw how an organization could really run on all cylinders and with respect for employees on any level. The experience has completely revitalized me.

Yesterday afternoon my application for my new position of EA was accepted and I am beyond gratitude for this opportunity. Ready to be part of something outside of the real estate racket.

There Must Be Something In The Air

So I have gone back and edited my post from January 8 morning because I got to thinking of the place that was, the place that is and the place that isn't.

I opened iPhoto and browsed through the old photos from the office, studying how different the place was even physically, a year ago. Photos from our Halloween-decorated cubicles, to Aubrey hopping around imitating a gerbil (we considered ourselves the gerbils in the office), to the Kelowna retreat. Then Tom Allen, finishing off CBC's playlist for Obama "49 Songs from North of the 49th Parallel", played Hard Road by Sam Roberts; a song I love more today than I ever have. THIS IS THE SONG I'll be playing over the next few days and weeks.

Feel, feel it grow
In your mind, in your mind
Life is how you live it
Through time, through time

And there's no desert sun that is hot enough to feed your fire
We shipwreck like fools only to become the ocean's choir
And the sun dies until it's reborn
But there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on

Got lost on the way, but you found the road again
Stay true to your friends, cause they'll save you in the end

There must be something in the air, in the air
Some kind of answer to my prayers, to my prayers
Some kind of answer to my prayers
Been dying since the day I was born
'Cause there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on

I have a vision in my mind of a life that I've left behind
Yeah, can't you see that lost souls can't swim
You know you'll sink, but you still jump in
And it's alright to get caught stealing back what you've lost
Yeah, don't you know that lost souls can't swim
You beat them back, but they drag you in
And I can't say that I am sorry for all my many sins

And you try to find a love that'll see you through your darkest days
And her soft brown hair is as long as the Canadian highway
When the sun dies until it's reborn
But there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on

Been dying since the day I was born
'Cause there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on

There must be something in the air,in the air

Sam Roberts - Hard Road
by UniversalMusicGroup

Stepping into the unknown

I purchased a daytimer this year in an effort to keep myself in order; something I aspire to do every January. Some years have longer tenures than others. Like last year's only got as far as March before I lost interest in maintaining it. Some years I find by November my datebook is chalk full of diligent reminders and worthy entries.
This year while milling about at Indigo Books after Christmas, my choice was to opt for something more creative, positive, you know, going against my eagerness to be somewhat bitter or picking up the usual black and white Paris datebook - not that there's anything wrong with that. My 2009 Datebook is a Pema Chodron one. Pema Chodron is an ordained Buddhist nun who's work is about applying the Buddhist teachings into everyday life. It's rather a pretty daytimer; each month has a title page and index marker for easy reference (one of the reasons I purchased it) and each month's title page has a quote or word of wisdom on it.

January reads, "The spiritual journey goes beyond hope and fear; it involves stepping into unknown territory, continually moving forward".

I think I selected the perfect datebook this year. The universe is back on speaking terms with me.

Wishing on a New Beginning

Flickr Credit

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.

There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

- Alan Cohen